Month: October 2023
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Campus Party Legend To Hold Summit
The campus social scene is about to reach legendary status, as a student famed for throwing unforgettable parties announced plans to host a Campus Party Summit this semester. Known only as Alex “DJ Apex” Morgan, the self-proclaimed party legend has promised an event like no other—mixing music, games, and a few surprises that have already sparked widespread…
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Law School Adds ‘Mock Suit Fitting’
Aspiring lawyers at the campus law school can now practice looking the part before they step into courtrooms, thanks to a new program called the Mock Suit Fitting. The initiative allows students to try on professional attire, receive personalized advice, and prepare for real-world legal settings—all in one session. According to the program coordinator, Professor Linda…
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Engineering Department Wins Grant for “Car with Big Floppy Feet”
The Engineering Department has secured a grant for what might be the quirkiest campus project yet: a vehicle with giant, floppy feet. Dubbed the FlopMobile by students, the car is designed to navigate rough terrain, climb over obstacles, and perhaps most importantly, entertain anyone who sees it in action. According to project lead Professor Samuel Greene, the…
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Flag Pole Gets New Little Brother
Campus skies will soon feature a new addition: a smaller flag pole standing proudly next to the main one on the quad. The installation, affectionately dubbed the “little brother” by students, is part of a campus beautification and accessibility project. According to facilities management, the smaller pole will be used for events, student organization flags,…
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Campus Prank Gone Right: Wallets Overflowing
A prank usually associated with confusion and mild chaos instead left students pleasantly surprised this week when wallets across campus were mysteriously filled to the brim. What started as a typical April Fools–style stunt turned into a feel-good moment that had students smiling from class to class. According to eyewitnesses, students returning to their dorms…
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Sneaky Sneakers: These High Heels are Made of Rubber
Campus fashionistas got a surprise this week when a new footwear trend appeared in the quad: high heels crafted entirely from rubber. The unusual shoes, dubbed Sneaky Sneakers, are turning heads for their quirky combination of elegance and practicality. Designed by fashion student Maya Lin, the heels promise the stylish look of traditional high heels but…
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Can’t Hold A Candle: Chemistry Chair’s New Wax is Near-Magic
Students and faculty alike are buzzing about the latest innovation from the Chemistry Department: a new type of wax developed by department chair Dr. Evelyn Harper that seems almost magical in its properties. Dubbed Lumina Wax, the substance reportedly burns brighter and longer than any standard candle, while remaining surprisingly cool to the touch. Early demonstrations…
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Wins with Wings: Bird Sings School Anthem for Big Bucks
In a truly feathered spectacle, the campus was treated to a performance unlike any other this week: a local bird reportedly sang the school anthem—and earned a tidy sum for its efforts. The event, held at the Student Union courtyard, was part of a fundraiser organized by the student government to raise money for campus…
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Dining Hall To Add Fourth Meal
Students with late-night cravings and early-morning appetites have reason to celebrate: the campus dining hall will soon introduce a fourth meal option, expanding beyond the traditional breakfast, lunch, and dinner schedule.
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Frisbee Collides with Hacky Sack
Campus recreation enthusiasts were treated to an unusual spectacle yesterday afternoon when a frisbee flying across the quad collided mid-air with a hacky sack, creating a moment that left students both baffled and amused. Eyewitnesses say the incident occurred around 3:15 PM, near the fountain, when a group of students was playing a casual game…